My Worst or Best Dream Come True
by Duo The Dark Magician
Summary: Ch.7 UP! Miroku is Challanged to DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION! And his love curse is just about ready to wrek havok among every woman in Tokyo... ReadReview please
1. Default Chapter

It's me, Dark Magician Duo. I'm sure alot of you read this before, but I've been having alot of problems with this story with the reviews and all. Well, nothing brand new...yet! I'm working on my Love Hina fic and will be done in a week or even earlier. Then, I'll put all my efforts in the next chapter for this one. But in the meantime, I RE-present to you "Miroku's Worst or Best Dream Come True." 

A Dream Come True

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As the day broke over the horizon, the bit of sunshine crept through the tree branches that shaded the little camp of our heroes. Inu-Yasha was up all night in the tree gaurding the camp from any dangers that would come for the Jewel shards, but thankfuly, it was a quiet night for him. 

"Another day full of letching, yelling, jewel hunting... Why me?" Inu Yasha looked down at everyone as they began to stir. Kagome was sleeping with the little fox pup Shippo right beside her. Sango layed with Kilala in her bag and Miroku layed by himself due to the demands of the women that he sleep as far away from them as possible on the otherside of the campfire. Inuyasha began to nod off a little until a ruffle in the bushes was sounded off. Inu-Yasha heard this and looked down to see something small moving closer and closer to Miroku. It came closer and closer, creeping around until it finaly reached the foot of his sleeping bag. Inu-Yasha saw this and jumped down from the tree. 

"You little basterd, trying to steal a shikon shards while we're asleep?" he drew his claws and slashed through Miroku's sleeping bag ready for a vicious demon to attack. Miroku's eyes shot wide open and grabbed his staff out of reflex and swung it straight across Inu-Yasha's face, knocking him over to the girl's side of camp. Miroku stood up ready to fight. "What's going on here? Who's there? Answer me!!" he looked around and found nothing out of the ordinary. He took a step forward and heard a shriek like that of a cat or a rodent. He looked down and saw a pink, furry little animal who's tail he happened to have stepped on. 

Miroku bent down and began to pet it. "I'm sorry, little fella. You gave me quite a scare." Miroku scratched behind it's ears and tried to make it feel better. However, the little animal backed off and turned it's rear to Miroku and lifted it's red-striped tail. Miroku traced the red stripe to the very end of it's neck and finaly peiced together exactly what it was that he aggravated. "Well... this is pleasent way to start off my day." 

Inu-Yasha was knocked out of it when he heard a scream of complete fright. Kagome and Sango woke to the scream as well and couldn't help but notice Inu-Yasha's face was buried in Kagome's lap. "Inu...Yasha..." Kagome could barely speak with all this happening in the very opening of the day. Inu-Yasha picked his head up and looked up to find Kagome's face beet red and fists clenched. 

"SIT!!!" 

Sango looked to her right as she picked up Kilala in her hands to look at all the camotion. "What's going on? It's barely dawn and you're all ready going at it?" Kagome was up and backed into the tree, leaving Inu-Yasha and her sleeping bag buried half way in the ground and his ears twitching as a sign of how sick and tired he was getting of that damned word. Kagome knelt down to her back pack and got a frying pan ready to dish out some more pain for the perverted half breed. 

"Just what the hell where you thinking!?!? PERVERT!!!" Inu-Yasha just got done pulling himself from the ground when he looked up and saw a black matter rushing to his face at an incredable speed and then, complete darkness enshrouded him. Then, with a gushing headache, he cracked his eyes open and rubbed the lump on his head. "Ow...what the hell happened?" Kagome was cooking breakfast by the time he came around. "Oh, you're up. About what happened this morning..." 

Kagome lifted the frying pan with an indent of a certain demon's face on the surface. Slowly at first, but surely, it all came back to Inu-Yasha. "Oh yeah, now I remember." Inu Yasha said with a cool mood, and then exploded with his short fuse already out. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!?" 

Kagome explained. "Well, Miroku thought you went crazy and smacked you across the camp and onto my lap. Then he realy stepped in it this time." Kagome was a bit red remembering waking up to the mutt on top of her. She shook away the thought and continued to cook up breakfast. 

Inu-Yasha saw how it all came together, and then remembered the demon that almost got Miroku. "Oh yeah, what about Miroku? I saw a demon and it was ready to devour him whole." Kagome started to laugh just thinking about what happened to him. "Well, lets just say that when he stepped in it, it really skunked him up good." Sango came by with more firewood and her gas mask on. 

"My god, that must be the most god-forsaken stench I ever had the misfortune of smelling in my life" Sango said as she started to grind tomatoes by the bunch. Kagome agreed. "Yeah, I know. The weird thing is that the poor little skunk was pink and had a red strip. Like a little Valentine's day stuffed animal." Inu-Yasha had the biggest smirk on his face since a good while. "Heh heh heh. I gotta see this. That monk should learn to be more careful out here in the wild with beast of burden and stench." 

Kagome saw Inu-Yasha heading for the River. "Umm...I don't think you should go right now. He's..." It was too late, as she was abruptly cut off by another scream of desolate horror. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" 

"Too late. He should have listened." Kagome said. Sango shook her head and smiled along with the little giggle she caught in her throught. "Well, seeing Miroku naked covered in tomatoe juice can traumatize you for life." She continued to mash more tomatoes and Kagome just finished with the meal. Inu-Yasha came running out from the trees screaming and mumbling outloud incoherently. "What did he say" Sango asked. "I think it was something about eyes and gouging." 

Miroku was in the freezing river covered with tomatoes when Inu-Yasha came out from the other side of the trees. "Fool." Miroku said. "And he calls me a letch." As he continued to scrub his arms, he couldn't help but notice that the smell was comming off rather easily. "That's strange. Must be this 'conditioner' Kagome spoke of. It smells like garden of flowers now." He gave himself one last dip to wash off the last of the tomatoes off of him before getting dressed once more in some new clothes Sango brought back from a nearby village. (Authors note: Get you're mouths off the ground, you crazy Miroku fan girls! ) 

At breakfast, Miroku sat down to his cup of herbal tea and some of Kagome's instant ramen with roast pork and Shippo ran off to play with Kilala. Inu-Yasha was eating his ramen with his back turned away from Miroku after that little scean in the river. He tried as hard as he could not to make eye contact with him for the rest of the day. Sango scooted more closely to Miroku. "Would you like that filled up there, Miroku," she asked holding up the tea pot up to his face. 

Miroku was taken by surprise when Sango held the steaming hot pot up to his face. He backed up a little and looked at her with suspicious eyes. "Why? Is there something wrong with it?" Sango shook her head. "Of course not. I just had my fill and I thought you would like some more. That's all." She poured the tea into his cup before he could even accept her kind gesture. "Oh, Miroku, can you be a doll and pass me that salt?" Kagome asked. Miroku couldn't help notice her voice was a little more easy going than it normaly was. "Um...sure. Miroku leaned over the fire and grabbed the salt and handed it to Kagome. "Here you go." Kagome accepted the salt and grabbed his hand to. "Thanks a lot. I realy appreciate it." 

Inu-Yasha noticed that Miroku was getting more attention than he should be getting from these two and had to say something. "Hey Miroku. I can't help but recall. Who did you say last night had the bigger breasts? Kagome or Sango?" Miroku was taken completely off guard as he spat his tea all over Inu-Yasha sitting right across from him. Sango and Kagome's eyes where completley narrowed down at Miroku. 

"SIT!!!" 

"Agghh-" And yet it was Inu-Yasha who payed dearly for his plan to see that no-good monk go down. He dug himself out once again to get an explanation. "Ok! Just what the hell did I do to deserve that?!?!" Kagome and Sango hugged Miroku from both sides and began to defend him on his behalf. "How dare you make such accusations on our Miroku!!!" Sango shouted out. Kagome held him tighter "Yeah! He would never say such a perverted thing! He's too much of a gentleman to ever say such a thing!" 

Inu-Yasha couldn't beleive what he was hearing. Miroku a gentleman! "Wha... what did you call him?" Inu-Yasha asked with a stunned voice. Kagome answerd faithfuly. "That's right! A gentleman! Not like you could ever understand!" Inu-Yasha calmly stood up, turned around, and began to walk away. He was just unable to grasp what the situation was and needed some time to think about it. Shippo came back along with Kilala to see Inu-Yasha leaving and Miroku being hugged by both Kagome and Sango. "What's going on?" Shippo asked with his cute innocence. "Why are you two hugging him like that?" Kagome and Sango saw Shippo looking with curiosity. They finally snapped to their senses and looked at what they where wrapping their arms around. Miroku was quite enjoying himself. "Ladies, why don't we send off Shippo and Kilala off with Inu-Yasha and we finish up breakfast ourselves?" 

His request was abruptly ended by two fists landing their mark square in the face. Sango and Kagome's eyes where wide open and where ,indeed, even more shocked than Inu-Yasha at what they where doing. "Sango," Kagome asked with a shrilled voice. "Yes, Kagome? What is it?" Kagome was still unable to grasp the fact that she was carresing his rock hard chest at the time. 

(I MEAN IT!!! HE'S ONLY A DRAWING! GET A BOYFRIEND!) 

"WHY THE HELL WHE'RE WE GROPING MIROKU!?!?" 

To be continued... 

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Ok, People. How'd I do? If i upset anyone when yelling at the girls to stop drooling over Miroku, then I apologise. It's just that's all my AIM/Yahoo buddies ever talk about (the women, anyway.) So, I will continue this one, but give it some time for people to read, enjoy, and beg for more. *grins wickedly* 

and now, I leave you with a quote of "wisdome" 

"Ah, Momiji, SHUT UP!"*~*~* by the Talented MR. Jason Lee as Kusanagi from Blue Seed when he answerd my question 'What's one line you wish you're charecter could say if given the chance' when I went to A-kon on Saterday 31!!! *Jumps around the room* 

P.S. This crisp, clean, pre-read version is brought to you by Millenium Elf. Thank's alot Katherine! 


	2. The situation

Hahaha. looks like I hooked some of you. So far, I got a bunch of people demanding more and more. And to the one who asked what aer the pairings, well... Just wait and see. The truth is this story, like my Evangelion one, is being made up as I go along. So evidently, I don't know the pairuing much at all either. ^_^;; Anyways, you want it, you got it! Here is Chapter 2 of what Miroku has coming to him in "Worst-Best Dream Come True." 

Beyond Comprehension

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Inu-Yasha was sitting alone on a hill staring blankly at the sceanery. It wasn't even noon, and already the day was completly ruined by that letchorus monk. "Just what the hell has gotten into those girls? They where defending him like they where his devoted lovers..." Inu-Yasha shook the thought away as soon as he could come up with it. "NO, NO, NO!!! There is NO was in hell _THOSE_ girls could ever see anything in him!!! He's a letch and that's all there is to it!" He stood up and grasped his hand at his side. "That's it! I'll find out just what's going on here, Even if it kills me, and more so if it kill Miroku!" 

"Ah...Inu-Yasha?" Shippo asked puzzled. He's been there ever since he started talking to himself, alnog with Kilala. Inu-Yasha shrugged after hereing that annoying little pup interupt his train of thought. Shippo asked again. "Why are you talking to youreself? Did you get hit too hard on the head again?" Inu-Yasha glanced over his shoulder to look at the little fox pup, but instead met eyes with Kagome. This threw him completey off gaurd. "Ka...Kagome! What are you doing here?" 

Kagome threw him a sassy look "What," she asked. "Aren't you happy see me? I know you love me." Inu-Yasha nearly collapsed at those words, but then took a sniff of the air around her. "What? What's wrong Inu-Yasha?" Her answer was a knock upside the head which left an gigantic lump on her head. 

"OW! JERK! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!" Inu-Yasha held up her hair to her face. It was a soft red color. The color of a fox. "You think you can fool me with a cheap trick like that? You're mimicry skill need work. You can't even get her smell right." With the poof of a cloud, Shippo turned back to the cute, cuddly, little trickster of a demon he realy is. "I was only trying to cheer you up. Kilala feels sorry for you too." Inu-Yasha clenched his fist a continued to knock shippo on the head a good ten times. 

"And just why would I need cheering up?" He asked. Shippo rubbed his lump as kilala jumped on Inu-Yasha's shoulder. "Well, Kagome just dumped you for Miroku, so I figured that you would be devistated." Inu-Yasha turned red as a beet heareing this from a child. "She's not my woman and never was! So how can I be dumped?!?!" Shippo crossed his arms and shook his head. "Everyone can tell. Even me, and I'm just a pup." Inu-Yasha sat back down next to him and Kilala jumped down onto his lap. 

"Besides," Inu-Yasha asked. "Something doesn't smell right. It all started at breakfast where that monk was geting more affection then he should. But then there was that demon that attacked earlier." Shippo took a riceball from his little pouch where he kept his toys and tricks in and took a bite. "Oh, you mean that little skunk?" shippo said with a full mouth. "Yeah, he got Miroku good. He was drenched with that stuff and we found him passed out on his bag." 

Inu-Yasha then realized something. "Wait, that was a skunk? Then why doesn't he wreak of oder?" Shippo took another bite of his treat. "I dunno. By the time he got in the river, the smell was gone. Now he smells as fresh as a dandylion." Inu-Yasha coudn't make any sense of it. "If he was skunked, then why would the girls be fonding over him?" Shippo finished the rest of his snack before he exceeded the need to talk. "Yeah, not to mention the fondeling, the grouping, the brushing the hair through the fingers..." Inu-Yasha shut him up yet again whith a stomp on the head and then grinding him into the ground. 

"Ok, you don't need to go into the details!" Inu-Yasha said before removing his foot from his head. Shippo dug himself out of the ground and dusted himself off. "Always picking on the little guy." Inu-Yasha needed to talk to Kagome. He started his way back to camp with Kilala at his side. He looked down and saw the little demon jumping ready to play. He gave her a little smirk, knelt down and scratched her behind the ears. "Why don't you and Shippo go off and play some more. I need to have a talk with with the girls and that idiot." and with that said and done, he walked off back to the camp. 

Meanwhile, Sango and Kagome where at the river washing there faces and trying to grasp what the situation was that they would be willing to do anything for Miroku. "Ok, just what on earth where we thinking" Sango asked. Kagome was just as puzzled as her. "I dunno. All I do know is that I feel so unclean!" Kagome stood up and dryed her face with a towel she had in her bag. "All I know is, I was comlpetly out of my senses and I was completly falling for him!" Sango and Kagome walked back to the camp and saw that Miroku was still out of it. "Poor guy," Sango said. "If we don't kill Naraku soon, then his curse will consume him one day. I'm sure if it isn't him to do it, he'll want it ot be our son to kill him." Kagome nodded until she realized just what Sango was saying. 

"Wait!?!? Did you just say '_OUR_' son???" Sango shook her head at that and denied ever saying that. "No!!! Never! Why would i say anything like that!?!?" she calmed herself and looked at Miroku still lying on the ground. "Still, he is kind of cute when he's not grouping someone." Kagome nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I have to admit, he is well built. He's got a body that could win over every girl at school." 

(author's note:*lookes at a centerfold of Rei Ayanami* I need to start dating. I REALY do!!!) 

Sango walked over to his out-for-the-day body and sat down next to him. "I wonder if he can truely ever be a gentleman?" she asked Kagome." Kagome shrugged her shoulders at the question. "I dunno. You think he's a good kisser?" Sango and Kagome turned red again thinking of it. Sango placed her fingers on her lips and remembered the time he was about to give her mouth-to-mouth resesitation. At least _that_ was noble of him to do. She began to think. What would it be like to have his soft, hot, silky lips on hers. It was then her heart skipped a beat and she lost control. 

(Author's note: I SWEAR, ON MY ENTIRE ANIME COLLECTION, I AM STAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!) 

"Kagome, I can't stand it! I feel like i need to..." Sango then let herself go and pressed her lips agains his. This was the first thing Inu-Yasha saw when he came back through the woods and into there camp. A thoudsend questions where entering his head all at once. What was Sango thinking? Does that monk know what he's doing? Does Sango even know that Kagome is there? But there was one question that stuck out of his head and kept repeating it's self over and over again...   


Would Kagome do the same? 

"Kagome..." Inu-Yasha whispered to himself. That was it. He wasn't going to sit around and wait to find out. He leaped from the trees and grabbed the limp body of Miroku and jumped back to the tree. Sango didn't realize what happened untill she could no longer feel her lips on his. "Whe...where did he go?" Kagome didn't here a word she said. Her mind couldn't comprehend just what Sango did. She kissed him. HIM! Miroku. The monk that always grouped any ass he could get. The letch that uses his curse to try and convince any beauty to bear his child. But still, one thought kept playing it's self back in her head over and over.   


'I didn't get to kiss him!' 

From the tree's top, the girls heard Inu-Yasha call out to them. "Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm going to get to the bottem of this. You girls head back the village and talk to Kaede and maybe she'll be able to help you out. In the meantime, I'm keeping Miroku as far away from you two as I possably can." Kagome and Sango where pleading to Inu-Yasha. "Please! Give him back!" Sango cried. "We need him! I love him!" Kagome was shouting out as well. "Inu-Yasha! Give him back or I'll say that word again and again untill you're six feet under!" There was no answer. 

Inu-Yasha was already miles away from the camp with the practicly comatose body of Miroku on his back. "I'm sure they'll be fine, considering I left Kilala to look after them. Maybe Sango will come to her senses as well." Inu-Yasha continued on for a few minuts till he reached another river bed. leaping across it, he dumped Miroku into the freezing water. Inu-Yasha landed on a rock waiting for the Monk to pop up at any second. 

Miroku finaly came around and looked around him. All he saw was blue and fishes swiming all around him. 'Inu-Yasha...' he though to himself. He kicked himself up to the surface and looked around. He hadn't the slightest clue of where he was and could only guess that this was all that damned half-breed's doing. He swam to the river bed and got himself out only to see Inu-Yasha sitting on a rock with a more than agrovated expression on his face. "Something I did" Miroku asked. 

Inu-Yasha didn't answer. Miroku re-stated the question. "Or was it something I let happen?" Inu-Yasha snaped at that question. "You mean there was more than what I saw?!?!" Miroku squeezed his cloths dry and brushed his hair back. "If we _did_ do anything, I am completly unaware of it. Right after you left, I was quickly punished before I could be fairly tried." Inu-Yasha squinted at Miroku and signaled him to check his lips. 

"Huh...?" Miroku wiped his lips with his fingers and saw what appeared to be lipstick. It wasn't too dark and knew that kagome never wore lipstick. He could only guess who else would even try to play such a devious trick. "Shippo, that little demon. I swear, next time I see him, I'm going to give him such a-" Inu-Yasha was just about fed up with Miroku's antics. "IT WASN'T SHIPPO, YOU CLOG! IT WAS SANGO!!!" 

Miroku quickly changed his mood. "Oh. Well in that case, next time I see her, I'll return the favor." that remark was rewarded with a huge rock smack in the middle of his head. "Get serious," Inu-Yasha demanded. "The girls where fonding over you like you where the emporer himself and you don't have the slightest clue that something could be wrong here?" Miroku thought about it for a second. The extra tea, Kagome asking him to pass the salt and calling him 'sweet' for it, the defending of him even after the tastless jab Inu-Yasha took, and fondeling of his chest from Kagome and Sango grouping his... 

(Author's note: Rei Ayanami, Sango, Faye Valentine, Asuka, Nanako, Priss Asagiri, Kirika, Naru, and Naga. I have a pic of all these women in a bikini over my bed.) 

"I fear that the girls could might be cursed by a demon that makes them completley vulnerable to the most handsome man around." Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes as Miroku complamented himself. "I doubt it. If you ask me, I think it had something to do with that skunk you stepped on this morning." Inu-Yasha then felt a little prick on his nech and slapped the little invader before he could get away. As he removed his hand, sure enough he squashed his bazzle, Myoga the flea. 

"Well, Myoga, talk about good timing. I need to ask you about a certain demon." Myoga fell to the ground and landed on a flat rock by the river. "Yes, master..." he struggled to answer untill he poped back into shape. "Well, Master," Myoga started. "From what I've heard, It sound like a skunk that has been infested with 'love bugs'. " Inu-Yasha and Miroku wasn't buying it. Miroku took out a can Kagome gave to him a few nights ago and sprayed the flea with Raid. "You'll need to come up with a better story, vermin" said Miroku. As Myoga layed on the rock gasping for breath, he insisted that he spoke the truth. 

"What I speak of is true! The 'love bug' I speak of is a relative of the flea. In fact, my great uncle was 1/8th love bug." Inu-Yasha was getting fed up, but decided to trust Myoga on this one. "Okay, so what else do you know" he demanded. Mygoa coughed a bit before proceeding. 

"Well," he started. "The love bug has the tendency of making one fall in love with the first member of the opposite sex that the infected person sees. However, the disease has been proven to be more effective when spread to animal's with a musk gland. Such in the case of sir Miroku and his encounter with the skunk this morning." Myoga took a break and hopped up on Inu-Yasha's shoulder and continued. "With this, It's not the individual that is affected with the curse, but every member of the opposite sex will be drooling over him. In this case... Miroku. The only way to cure him of this is to either wait for the effect to wear off, or to get skunked by normal skunk." 

Inu-Yasha had enough. He grabbed Myoga and placed him on his plam. Then he took his other finger and flicked him as far as his eye could see. "Yeah right, I'm sure that the girls are just having a phsycotic episode. There's no way something so lame like that could have any truth to it, right Miroku?" He was only talking to himself as Miroku walked off, following a smoke cloud from what appeared to be a village. "C'mon, Inu-Yasha. The girls should be fine in the meantime.Why don't we see if we can get a room and bath from the lord of the village?" Inu-Yasha's ears droped at the sign of another "dark cloud" hovering it's way to the village. 

"Fine. It's better than haveing Kagome and Sango near _you_ considering what Myoga said." With that said and done, Inu-Yasha and Miroku walked in the direction of the village with hopes for a little break from the hectic day already. Inu-Yasha was, however, feeling a bit uneasy about all this. "I dunno why, but I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this." Inu-Yasha sniffed the air. it wreacked of trouble to come. 

To be continued... 

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God, I need a girlfriend!!! I hope I lived up to everyone's expectations so far, for the next chapter, all hell will break loose! I need to work on my other project a bit, so don't expect another chapter in one week like I did with this one. I might end up making the next one pretty long, so enjoy this one for a while and reviews _might_ help speed thing up a bit. Thanks to all my fans (although I'm sure you're only here to read about Miroku. ---___---) I'll see ya later. 

And now for a quote of "wisdome" 

"I am no longer the sweet little girl you once knew. I am MUCH more saltier now!!!"~*~*~ Excel Excel from "Excel Saga" episode 9 (BTW, I don't own "Excel Saga" NOR do I own "Raid") 


	3. All Hell Breaks Loose

I think I'll take a little break after this chapter. Besides, I'm looking for a job and that will take a while. But anyways, here you go! Chapter 3 of my first Inu-Yasha fiction. 

All Hell Breaks Loose

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As Inu-Yasha and Miroku walked into town, they where greeted with stares and odd gestures from the towns people. "What? It's like they've never seen a demon before." Inu-Yasha scolded. Miroku walked on trying not to bring anymore attention then they where already getting. "I'm sure it's just that they don't trust demons what's so ever." Miroku said as they made their way down the road. Their destination: The village lord's domain. "So, what is it this time? An ominous dark cloud? A demon exorcist? Or just maybe the lord's daughter is the target of an assassination." Miroku shook his head at the accusations he made. 

"Not at all, my half-witted friend. I'm going to ask the kind sir if he'll spare us a room and share with us some food and a bath." As they made there way to the gate, Miroku offered Inu-Yasha the right of way. "After you." Inu-Yasha didn't know what was going on, but proceeded anyway. As they made there way to the main hut, there was a scream of desolate horror. Inu-Yasha drew his sword ready for battle. "AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! A DEMON!" 

"Where is he? Just leave it to me." Miroku was right behind him and drew his staff ready. "Hey, Inu-Yasha. Sorry." Inu-Yasha turned to Miroku to see what he meant. "What the hell are you talking about?" But the last thing he saw was Miroku bring his staff down and once again, he was enshrouded in total darkness. 

It was almost sunset when Inu-Yasha woke up."Wha... what happened just now?" He heard a voice from above. "It's about time you woke up." Miroku said. He had a plate of food in his hand and was wrapped in a bath robe. "Inu-Yasha looked around and from the heap of steer fertilizer he was next to, he could only guess he was in a barn. "Ok, Monk. You have about ten seconds to explain yourself and maybe I'll only rip off one of you're arms" Miroku set the plate down and began to explain. "I wanted to make a good impression on the lord, so I saved his daughter from the crazed dog beast." Inu-Yasha stared a blank for a moment, but it eventually sank in. "Oh, so you saved the princess from a rabid, vicious, me, is that it?" Miroku reassured him. "Don't worry. I'll have you out of here by morning. Long before they burn you alive like they declared they would." Inu-Yasha's face went as pale as a sheet. "HEY, YOU TRADORUS, LIEING, SON OF A BI-." He was silenced by a jelly-bun shoved in his mouth. "I placed seals around this barn, so I suggest you keep quiet until I release you in the morning. Goodnight." 

As Miroku exited, Inu-Yasha layed there sulking that he must spend the night with the farm animals. He looked at his meal and knew that this was out of pity. "Hmph. I don't need this. I'd rather starve." At these words, a mouse crawled out of a hole in the wall and began eating his meal. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't going to eat it!" he snapped as the rodent ran back to the wall. 

Meanwhile, Miroku was in the private bath house of the lord's mansion. "Haaa. A monk like myself could really get used to this." He layed back with only a towel and his hand wrapped in prayer beads. "I only wish Kagome and Sango could be here to share in this hospitality." As he layed back and began to float into a dream state, the door slid open. To Miroku's surprise, There was several beautiful women wrapped in nothing but towels which left little to the imagination. "Do you mind if we join you, kind sir?" Miroku could only smile and thank the gods for his blessings. "Not at all. Please, make yourself as comfortable as you desire." The girls all gathered around him with saki, tofu, bath oils, and other luxurious items. "Oh, kind sir," one girl spoke. "May I have the honor of washing you're back?" Miroku couldn't deny such a beauty her wish. "Why go ahead. If that is what you please." The girl sat on the bench and began to wash his back up and down. Miroku was loving every minute of this heaven. 

The lord's daughter, the one who he 'saved' from Inu-Yasha, scooted right next to Miroku with a bottle of saki.. "Oh sir. Would you like a drink of our best saki? It's right from my father's private collection." Miroku was almost giddy with joy, but kept his cool. "Why if it's of you're lords private stash, then I'll humbly accept." With devious eyes, the maiden lifted the bottle over Miroku's head and continued to pour wine all over him. Miroku was drenched and the girls all began lick the rice wine off of his chest and stomach. 

(author's note: This was _**heavily**_ requested by the crazed Miroku fan girls. This was _**NOT**_ my idea whats-so-ever! And this newer version is dedicated to Ruby Neko, the weirdo who suggested this.) 

'Well, it seams the gods have rewarded me for all my rightful doings. But then again, I am cursed with good fortune and boyish good-looks. Miroku was in paradise when all of a sudden, there was loud banging at the door. "Open up! I know you're there, Arashi! Answer me! Arashi!" Miroku recognized the voice of the lord and quickly ducked underwater. The door flung open and the lord stampeded in. "Where is he?" the lord demanded to know. "I know he's here! Trying to steel my daughter away and for steeling my best wine. I will personally see him to hell!" Arashi stood up holding her towel up and demanded her father to leave. "Get out! You will not touch the man I love! He is a brave and noble man who saved me from the horrid, wretched demon this afternoon. If you dare touch him, I swear I will never forgive you." 

The lord didn't so much as flinch as he snapped his fingers. Mere seconds later, the bath house was stormed with guards armed with swords and spears. As they surround the bath, all the women began to gather in the middle of the bath. Then, some bubbles floated to the top. Then some more, and even more so. Until Miroku, unable to hold his breath any longer, shot up from the water and was surrounded by a an army and several beautiful women. "Um... Kind lord, I wish to express my most humble apologies for this little scene we have here." Miroku was really brown-nosing now. 

"It's too late for that, you back-stabbing letch! Guards, seize him!" As the guards came in lunging their weapons right at Miroku's heart, he reached over to grab his staff and fight his way out. When he reached out for it though, he found it was not where he left it as the guards continued to lung forward. "You'll have to go through me to get to him." Arashi, with one stroke of Miroku's staff, sent the guards through the walls of the bath and resumed a battle stance. "Father, leave now or I swear, I will not be held responsible for what i will do." Her father simply turned tail and hauled ass back to the main building. 

Miroku felt like his pride as a man was broken as he sat there surrounded by women with the knocked-out guard's swords. He was saved by a princess. The very princess who shrieked because of a verminous dog demon. "Well, this was fun, but I think I'll leave now before I become any more unaAahh-" be fore he could get up however, Arashi grabbed him by the towel and made sure he didn't go anywhere. 

"Why, you aren't going anywhere, Miroku, love. You'll stay with me and you will love me forever." As Arashi came closer to his face ready to embrace him, one of the other ladies shoved her into the rest of the women. "Like I'm going to stand here and let you take him for you're self!" Arashi stood up with her fists and face burning with rage. "You dare to shove me!?!? I am the lord's daughter! I can choose any man I want, I will have Miroku!" They started to grab each other's hair and faces as they fought one another for their prized Miroku. 

Miroku just sat there and stared at the two girls as the began to get rougher and dirtier. "This should be held in front of a crowd of people some day. I'll refer it to Kagome when they've calmed down." The fun ended for him, however, as soon as a spear hit the wall just trimming his hair to the right of his head. "Ok, I think this is getting out of hand." Miroku said as all the women started to do battle with the gaurd's weapons. 'I think it's time for me to make my exit now. He thought to himself. As he was leaving, he found his cloths where set on fire. Most likely from the lord's men. "That's low for a man of his authority. He could spare me my dignity." He left his cloths burning and ran to the barn where Inu-Yasha was still tied up. 

Miroku found his barn was nailed shut. "Damn," Miroku thought. "I guess that I'll have to give the lord more credit than he deserved." Miroku used the rings on his staff to pull out as many of the nails he could so that he could easily break in. As the last nail came out, he kicked open the door to find Inu-Yasha in a beaten, ran-down, mess. "Inu-Yasha!" Miroku hurried to his friend to see if he was all right. 

"Inu-Yasha, can you hear me?" Miroku held up Inu-Yasha who was completely out of it. "C'mon, Inu-Yasha! Snap out of it!" Miroku slapped him a good five times to try and make his come to his senses. "Oh... It's you." Inu-Yasha layed eyes on Miroku and thanked the heavens he was here. Now he can give him what he's had coming to him for earlier. 

Inu-Yasha ripped out of his bindings out of pure rage and gave Miroku the hardest bash in the head as he could ever possibly dish out. "Why the hell did you leave me alone? Those sick, cowards of the lord's beat me down in my sleep!" Miroku really didn't have to explain. "Well, monk. Judging by the way you're dressed and the fact you smell of liquor and women, I must say you where-" Miroku slapped a hand over his mouth before he could finish. 

"Quiet! I think there's someone coming." He was right as the only way out was blocked by what was practically an army to Miroku's eyes. To Inu-Yasha, however, all he saw was women in towels and armed with spears and swords. "Damn, Miroku, how the hell you sleep at night?" Miroku smirked at the question. "very comfortably." 

Arashi stepped out from the mob and addressed Miroku. "Monk, you have two choices. Either come with us and live, or die." Miroku shook his head. "I guess I have no choice...." A few seconds passed until Miroku turned to face Inu-Yasha. 

"Well Inu-Yasha, I truly had fun, but I'm afraid we must part out ways from here on out. Goodbye, my half-breed, half-wit friend." Inu-Yasha fell over at that perverted monk's words. "LIKE HELL, THIS IS GOODBYE!!!" Inu-Yasha was more than fed up as he grabbed Miroku by the knot he tied his towel on and broke through the roof of the barn. The girls could only look straight up at the roof and look under Miroku's towel. They they could only stand there looking up in aww. 

(Author's note: DAMN, YOU MIROKU FAN GIRLS ARE KILLING ME!!!! ) 

Away from the village, Miroku was trembling and rubbing himself trying to keep from freezing in the night. "Yo-you could ha-ave looked in- the vi- village for some sp- spare cloths" Miroku stuttered under the cold night. "Well, if you would keep it in you're pants for one evening, then maybe we wouldn't have this little problem, now would we?" Inu-Yasha took of his fire-rat coat and let Miroku have it for the time being. "I expect it back, washed. Let's try and head back to the village where the bone eater's well is. Maybe Kagome's place might have something for you" Inu-Yasha scolded. Miroku just nodded in agreement as they walked into the deep forest in the middle of the night. 

To be continued... 

* * *

My God, anime fan girls can be the most scariest girls on the face of this world. Well, besides red-heads for me, that is. I dunno how, but I got it done in a week and now I'm going to take some time off and play my new .hack//mutation game. See ya in a few. Adios. 

And now for a quote of "wisdom"... 

"PANTY-TANK!!!"*~*~* Jonochi "Joey Wheeler" Katsuya from the "Yu-Gi-Oh" Manga. Said right before he lifted Anzu's skirt. (ahh, nice ^_^) 


	4. Welcome to Tokyo

I know, I know. My grammer and typing skills suck on levels thet where never precedented before. I got some brand new pre-readers now, so maybe that will help out in the long run. Well, On with the next chapter. 

Welcome to Tokyo

* * *

As the day broke, Miroku was still awake from heartless, cold night. The fact that he had to spend the night in a towel and Inu-Yasha's coat was just too low of a jab to his pride to sleep that night. That, and the fact that he was stuck in the tree. 

"Why did we have to spend the night up here? We could have slept on the ground, you know?" Miroku's question fell on deft ears as Inu-Yasha slept soundly on. "Hey! Wake up!" he was getting annoyed as his efforts where thrown away. "Fine then. I'll see you at the village." As Miroku started to climb down the tree, Inu-Yasha cracked one of his eyes open to see the half naked monk leaving him behind. "Hey, Monk. I wouldn't go down there just yet if I where you." Miroku's eyes shot up looking at the _now_ awake Inu-Yasha. "Why's that? Are you afraid to be alone?" 

From the bushes below, there was a growel of a near rabid wolf sizing up it's intended breakfast. It lept from it's stalking point to try to take a chunk of his ass from right under him. "GOOD GOD!" Miroku shouted as he struggled to get back up the tree, but his foot sliped under him as he dangled from a limb. The wolf was airborne for a while and practicly flew right for Miroku. "Well, this is it.' he thought to himself. "To think a wolf would be the one to take me out in such a dishonerable way." 

"Man, why am I _always_ saving you're ass?" Inu-Yasha lept from his branch, and with one sweep of his claws, dashed the wolf into chunks. "IRON REVER!!!" As Inu-Yasha landed on the ground, the dismembered parts of the beast fell all around the forest floor. Inu-Yasha stood up and looked at Miroku still hanging from the tree. "Hey, you coming or not?" Miroku was struggling to get himself back up. By the time he lifted himself up, though, the branch was already giving out to Miroku's weight. 

There was a crack. Then two more. Miroku looked around. "What's making that sound?" he looked at the branch where it was barely connected to the trunk. Miroku's eyes simply narrowed as he knew what was next. "Today doesn't seem to be my day either." 

The branch snapped under the weight. Miroku fell and landed with a gut-wrenching thud. Miroku tryed to pick himself up, but was knocked back down as the branch landed on the back of his neck. Inu-Yasha simply stood there and stared blankly at the comatose letch. Nudgeing him with his foot, Inu-Yasha tried to get him up. "C'mon, Miroku. We gotta see if we can find you some clothes." 

... 

"Damn it." Inu-Yasha spat on the floor by Miroku's head. "Again, I have to haul his sorry ass around." Inu-Yasha picked him up and layed him on his back. Inu-Yasha speed as fast as he could to the village where he told Kagome and Sango to head towards. While running, he thought about what might happen when he returned. What if Kagome and Sango where to end up the way they did yesterday morning? And the other women in the village? The wives, the daughters, Kayede... 

"Uugghh." 

Inu-Yasha's stomach nearly gave away thinking about it. He locked that image away in his mind, and threw it in a fire of his worst nightmares. After a few hours of running, he finaly reached the village. Inu-Yasha, with the still out-cold Miroku on his shoulders, walked the rest of the way. The villegers didn't pay any special attention at him, but Inu-Yasha still felt like he was being stared at by all the villegers. Finaly, Kaede came out and looked with horror. 

"What in ye's name have you done to him!?!?" Kaede tryed to take Miroku off his shoulders, but refused. "I don't think so, grandma!" Inu-Yasha called for some of the workers to take him in the hutt. "Hey, keep him away from the women. I mean it!" Inu-Yasha was already sharpening his claws. "YESSIR!" the men took him away and into the medical hutt. 

"Inu-Yasha," Keade stated. "What where ye doing with poor Miroku to cause such injurys?" Inu-Yasha turned to adress the old woman. "IT WASN'T ME!!!" Inu-Yasha shouted. "IT WAS EVERY WOMAN IN THE VILLAGE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FORSEST!!!" Kaede nodded. "I see. I'm sure Miroku and ye have been banished from there, I bet." Inu-Yasha shook his head. "More like the complete opposite! Every woman there was begging for him! Even Kagome and Sango where acting like complete, brainless bimboaaAAAGHHH-!" 

**SIT!!!**

As the dust cleared, Kaede saw a rather unpretty sight. Inu-Yasha was already two feet under with Kagome and Sango stomping all over his head. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WHERE DOING!?!?" Kagome shouted. "YOU LEFT US ON OUR OWN WITH NO ONE TO PROTECT US FROM ANY DEMONS EXCEPT KIRARA!" 

Inu-Yasha was still being pummled when he tried to explain. "bft vvi vad gtoo" his words where muffled by the dirt lodged up his nose and stuffed in his mouth. "What was that?!?!" Sango asked. 

Inu-Yasha picked his face up from the ground and spat out all the dirt. "I said I had know choice! You two where fondeling his hair, caressing his chest and grouping his AAGHH-" 

**SIT!!!**

"Don't remind us!" Kagome shouted. She was still shudering at what he was bring up. Sango took her bone boomerange and proceeded to grind his skull into the ground. "The next time you run off like that, I swear I will hunt you down like the dog you are!" Kayede stood there and watched as Inu-Yasha was beeing lynched in front of the entire village.   
  


After things cooled down, Inu-Yasha, Sango, Kagome, Shippo, and Kirara all sat around a fire eating the fine meal prepaired for them. Inu-Yasha explained what happened at the village and what Myoga explained what was happening. 

"...and so he said the only way to break the curse is to wait for it to wear off, or to be skunked by a normal skunk." There was an uneasy pause as all his friends stared at him like he totaly lost it. "Suure." Kagome said with a mock tone. "And this "love bug" Myoga was talking about... do _you_ believe what he was saying?" Sango sipped on her tea. "I personaly think you may have lost it." Inu-Yasha twitched his ears and raised his fist up to his face. "I'm telling you, this is the only possabilty we could think of. The only other one is that every woman he ran into just 'fell in love at first site.'" 

The room once again fell into a deep silence and then burst into laughter at Inu-Yasha's hypothosis. "Yeah, right!" Kagome said, holding her splitting sides. Inu-Yasha sat there and held his head down and let everyone have their good laugh. After they calmed down, Inu-Yasha pointed out the next issue at hand. 

"Kagome, we need some cloths to spare Miroku for the time being." Kagome looked up from her bowel and asked why. "Can't we just get him some clothes here in the village?" Kayede chose this moment as she entered the hutt. "I'm afraid the village has no spare clothes to spare ye at the moment." The room's attention shifted to Kagome. She only hanged her head down with a thousend thought of what would happen if they _all_ went to Tokyo with her. One thing was for sure... she was going to have to do something about those ears.   


As Kagome and Sango climbed out of the bone-eater's well, they made sure the cost was clear from anyone who didn't know of the situation. For their protection, Kagome and Sango wore masks to make sure they didn't lose it around Miroku. Kagome looked down and wondered what was going on. 

"Hey, move you're butt, Inu-Yasha!" she demanded. Not far behind, Inu-Yasha proceeded to haul the _still_comatose Miroku around. "Okay, run this by me one more time!" Inu-Yasha was still nagging about what his role in the plan was. "Simple" Sango said. "You take Miroku out to find some cloths and _we'll_ see you here around sunset. Have fun!" As the girls left them still in the well, Inu-Yasha thought about what he's going to do. 

"Well, first things first." He tossed Miroku over his head and out of the well. Miroku fell limp on the shrine floor with a loud thud. "This might be more fun then I thought." He dragged Miroku by the foot alonge the floor towards Kagome's house where he stopped at the door. He proceeded to bang the door to see if anyone was home. "HELOOO!?!? ANY ONE HOME!?!? HEY MS. HIGURASHI!!!" The door opened with Kagome's grandpa to greet him. "Ahh, Inu-Yasha. What are you doing here? I thought you and Kagome where in the feudal times searching for the Shikon jewels?" 

His attention was, however, drawn to the dirty, barely clothed Miroku as Inu-Yasha held on to his ankle. "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!! YOU DEMON!!! HAVE YOU GROWN A TASTE FOR HUMAN BLOOD NOW?!?!?" Inu-Yasha ignored the old man and made his way into the house, where he passed by the kitchen. He caught a quick wiff of the air. "Hey, something smells gooooood." he said to himself. As he walked into the kitchen, he met Souta and Ms. Higurashi who was just taking out a roast from the oven. 

Ms. Higurashi looked up and saw those dog ears twiching and his mouth watering at the sight of the hot, fresh, slab of meat before him. "Um... hello Inu-Yasha. Are you here for Kagome? I thought she was with you?" He didn't say anything, however. His eyes where fixaeted on the dish in her hands. She lifted the roast over her head and waved it around. Inu-Yasha sat there like a begging dog and followed her every action. 

She smiled and took a plate out of the cuppord. "Fine, you can have some, but you'll have to put him somewhere else." she said eyeng Miroku. Inu-Yasha lept on his feet and sat at the table where Souta was finishing his homework. "Oh, thank you! I havn't had a hearty meal in a long time!" Before she set the plate down, though, she had to see him do a little 'trick.' 

"Oh, Inu-Yasha, can you do me a small favor before you eat?" Inu-Yasha saw no harm in this. "Sure, anything. As long as I get to eat." She smiled and went to the closet and got her camera. "Ok, you two get together." She pointed to Souta and Inu-Yasha. Souta looked happily and wrapped his arms around his neck. Ms. Higurashi couldn't help but let out a chuckle at how cute a sight it was. Inu-Yasha, however, felt like a puppy with the little brat hanging off of him. 

"Ok, now what was that word... Oh yeah! Ok, ready?" She thought of the word that Kagome was always using around him and set her camera ready. Inu-Yasha looked confused. "Hey, what word are you thinking oooaaaAAAHHHGGG-!!!" 

_**Sit.**_

Souta felt a rush like he was going as fast as a car on the freeway, then a sudden stop. "Wow! That was great! Do that again, Inu-Yasha!" But his hero was face down in the wooden floor with his ears twitching like he was irritated about something. Ms. Higurashi looked at the picture as it developed and made out a face of utter fright and Souta right above him. "Well, i guess he's never seen a camera before." Inu-Yasha could only conclude that her mother had the power to subdue him as well. 

At the table, Inu-Yasha explained what the situation at hand was. He locked Miroku up in Souta's room and warned her to stay out of there. "Oh, my!" she gasped. "I'm sorry, but the only cloths we have are grandpa's, and I don't think you're friend would appreciate smelling like a fibbing, old man." From outside, they could here the crys of gramps as they are sure he heard her every word. Souta stood up as he came up with an Idea. "I know, mom! How about I take him to the mall and get him some cloths?" 

Miroku woke to the sound of a splash and saw, once again, endless blue. He sat up and looked around. He clearly was not in feudal Japan. He saw a chair with a hole and water in it, a large stand with a silver pipe dangling over a bowel-like cavity, and a mongral demon sitting on a bench. "Ok, where have you taken me now?" Inu-Yasha swatted him with a loofa. "Where at Kagome's place. Turns out there are no spare cloths at the village or here." Miroku let himself sink into the tubb thinking about what he was going to do. "So, in all of Japan, there are no spare sets of cloths?" Inu-Yasha scrathed his head. "Well, there is this 'mall' thing that Kagome's mother and brother where talking about." 

* * *

Ok, I'm just setting the stage for the next chapter, which I garantee to be the best I can write. Untill then, I leave you with a quote of "wisdome." 

"YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO TAKE A SHIT!"~*~*~ Spike Speigal from "Coboy Bebop the Movie: Knockin on Heaven's Door." 


	5. Shopping

Damn. I had to take this fiction down and then re-post it due to some problem. This story just vanished off the list. But NOW the reviews I'm getting through the mail aren't showing on this story. I dunno. My head hurts, my nose is bleeding, my room is boiling, and I feel like crap. But I did manage to finish this chapter. Here is Chapter 5 of "The Worst or best Dream Come True." 

Shopping

* * *

Sango and Kagome walked through the busy Tokyo streets. Luckily for Sango, Kagome lend her some of her cloths as to not draw attention from the more modern people of this time and age. "So, Kagome..." she started. "Yeah, Sango? What is it?" 

"What exactly is 'shopping'?" Kagome dropped at the question. Never in her life had a teen girl ask her what she was asking. Then again, she never really knew any one from Feudal Japan. "Well, we go out and buy whatever wee like, and have fun doing it." Sango thought about it. "So... Inu-Yasha knows this right?" 

Kagome stopped in her track. "Oh no! I bet he doesn't know the first thing about shopping, much less about today's fashion. Come on. We better find them before they make fools out of themselves." 

Inu-Yasha was being led to the mall by Souta. He was wearing his usual cloths with only a baseball cap to hide his ears from everyone else. Miroku was not far behind, as he was wearing a dusty, old business suit Kagome's mother found buried in the attic. "Why do you think everyone is gazing on us so bizarrely?" Inu-Yasha asked. Miroku took a wild guess. "Well, I'm thinking it's because you're the only one around with long, silver hair, claws, yellow eyes, bare feet, and stench to top off the this city's 'village-idiot.'" He simply ignored the wise-cracking monk and proceeded, or rather, walked, down the street. "C'mon, slowpoke! It's not much farther." The poor mutt might as well have been on a leash. 

"Are we there yet?" He asked. "No, Inu-Yasha, not yet." Mere seconds later. "Are we there yet?" Souta was getting ticked. "No! Not Yet!" And yet again. "Are we there yet?" The kid turned around and stomped his foot as hard as he could on Inu-Yasha's foot. He merely looked down and saw his little pinky toe begin to swell. "Fine." he said. "Tell me when we get there." Souta gave him a stare that could kill as he turned back and proceeded to lead the two. 

Kagome and Sango where already at the mall, keeping their eyes peeled for any letches or mutts that they may come across. Unfortunately, the only ones they came across was the usual kind. "Kagome, are all the men in this time self-absorbed rear pinching, perverts?" She could only nod her head, seeing as how most of it was true. Sango hanged her head in disappointment. "God help me, it's a day and age of Miroku." 

Miroku looked at the store he was standing before and didn't know what to say. "Um... this place sells cloths?" Souta grabbed them both and ran inside, hoping to find something that would fit them both inside. 

Several minutes passed while Inu-Yasha was learning the concept of pants and the fly that must always be zipped. Souta was quickly losing patience. "Hey, are you two done yet!?!?" The door swung open, revealing Inu-Yasha sporting kaki pants, a red T-shirt, and a sweater vest. "So, what do _you_ think?" 

... 

"HAHAHAHAHAA!!!" Souta fell out of his chair, gripping his sides from the sight before him. "No way! Totally not you're style!!! HAHAHA!!!" Inu-Yasha had it up to here with all of this. "Well, as long as they don't draw me anymore attention, these will work just fine!" He sat down with a grunt. Souta was about ready to make another joke about it when Miroku flew open the door and emerged wearing blue jeans, a designer T-shirt, and a blue, silk over shirt. Inu-Yasha looked at him and wondered if that was really the panty-pinching, grouping monk he knew and loathed. 

"Well, you look rather handsome in this, sir." The sales clerk came up to him and straightened the collar of his shirt up. "Why don't we go to the full length mirror over their and take a better look?" before he could answer, the woman grabbed him by the wrist and was already checking every bit and curve he had to offer. 

"Um... Miss? I think I'm fine. I'd like to purchase this and then I'll be on myyyYY!?!?!?" The woman wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on top of his shoulder. "My, my, my. You really are a handsome, young man, you know?" Souta looked on from behind with innocents and curiosity. "Hey, Inu-Yasha? Why is that woman hanging off of him like that?" He shot his hand right over the kid's eyes. "You don't need to know right now, kid." 

"You know, I get off in twenty minutes, why don't I meet you by you're car and we can have a little fun..." she blew into his ear, making Miroku all the more interested. "Well, I don't have a, how you say, 'car', but I'm sure we can walk where ever you intend to go." 

That last remark was met with a loud thud. "Inu-Yasha? Just what did _I_ do to deserve that?" He continued to repeatedly pummel Miroku on the noggin countless times. "You're not going to screw this up. You're here for cloths and that's all!" The sales woman handed him a key. "It's the blue Acura in the parking lot in front of the Macy's. Don't keep me waiting." Miroku was jumping around in glee inside, but maintained his composure. "Very well, ma'am. In twenty min-" 

With a manicin leg, Inu-Yasha proceeded to beating the living hell out of him with no remorse. "WHAT DID I JUST GET DONE TELLING YOU!?!?" He picked up the ,one again, comatose body of Miroku and started to walk off. "Sorry, lady. But this guy is spoken for." The young lady was pissed, to say the least. "Well, I'm sure to you he is, but maybe he wants to try a woman once in a while." 

That flew right in and straight out of his head. It wasn't until Souta explained it to him. "I think what she said was that you're gay and love him." Inu-Yasha stared a blank at the young kid for his observation. "HEY!!! I'm not gay!!! This man's a perverted moron from somewhere you couldn't possibly begin to imagine!" The sales lady wasn't even paying attention as she walked off. "Tell you're friend I'll be waiting." 

Miroku once again woke to see blue all around him. "This is really getting to be an annoyance." Inu-Yasha yanked him out of the fountain, seeing if he was finally up. "That's it. We got you some cloths, so now we're getting the hell out of here. "Hang on!" Souta shouted. "My mom made you promise to take me to the game store!" Inu-Yasha looked at the little welp. "Well, then I guess I lied." He began to walk off when Miroku when Souta came back with a threat. and a good one at that. "If you don't, then I'll tell my mom and sister to say that word all day untill you're in the center of the earth!!!" 

At the game store, Inu-Yasha was standing out quite a bit. His hair was still as long and silver, but the one thing that made him get most of the attention, was that he was kicking everyone's ass at the game demo stand for Halo 2. "So, this is a video game." He was hooked. he simply couldn't put down the controller. Everyone was amazed at how quickly he was able to pick up the moves and controls so fast. "Hey, have you ever seen that guy before?" the people started to gossip over how good he was. "No, but he kicked every challenger's ass so far. he hasn't lost a single game." 

Kagome and Sango where at the ice cream shop when Sango noticed a big crowd all over the game shop. "Hey, Kagome?" Sango asked. "What's going on over there?" Kagome looked behind her and looked as the crowd got bigger and bigger. "Oh, it's just some loser who's only escape from a dull life is playing games. Nothing to concern us about." They continued to eat their treats when Kagome heard some people talking. "Hey, did you hear about that guy with the long, silvery hair? He defeated fifty people and lost to no one!" Both girls chilled at what they just said. "Kagome, you don't suppose..." 

"I knew it." Kagome was looking on the big screen above the store where Inu-Yasha was on, complelty focused on the game. She pushed her way through the crowd and finally made it to the front. "HEY!!! Inu-Yasha!" She was shouting at the top of her lung, trying to get through the cheering. "INU-YAHSH!!!" She had just about enough from him. "That's it. si..." But before she could subdue him, she had a better idea. 

"Ha! I win again. Ok, who want's the privilege of being my one hundredth victory?" the sound of light foot steps came and from the crowd, Kagome Higurashi, was ready to kick some demon ass. "Well 'Ken', I guess I'll end you're fun here and now." Inu-Yasha took a good look at her and realized she was dead serious. "Ok, Kagome. Show me what you got.!" 

**Switch to a '.hack' enviroment"**

Both player's selected their character's color. Inu-Yasha's was silver, while Kagome chose lavender. Everyone looked on as the battle finaly began. Inu-Yasha picked up his new weapons fast, relying on the needler and plasma gun. 'This won't take long, I hope. Kagome looked around and found a banshee and board it quickly. "Alright, 'Ken'. As soon as I beet you and hurt you're pride, we are going home." She spotted him on radar and bombarded the area until it was all practically a smoking crater. 

"Did I get him?" She went back around to check if she missed anything. That was her one and only down fall. As her left wing took a missile from Inu-Yasha's player. "HEY! That's not fare!" she was going down, but before the ship blew up, she ditched out on top of a mountain. There, she found the supply mother load. "I can win with this." But before she was able to fully stock her supply, Inu-Yasha came crashing through with a tank. 

"Well, well, well. I see I gave you too much credit than I thought you deserved." Kagome jumped out of the way as he tried to run her down with no remorse. "Hey, don't sweat it. It's just a game!" as she recovered from her tumble from behind a rock. she peeked over to see if she could get a look at his position. "There he is...." She fired her assault rifle till it was out. "Damn, I can't get him with this! I hate to admit it, but I think he has me beet." Just then, she turned to face her back to the rock and looked at what was under her. "Well... maybe not just yet..." 

She then proceeded to throw all her grenades and launched all her missiles. Inu-Yasha looked on from the safety of the tank. "I can't believe she squandered all her ammo just like that. Oh well. Time to move in for the kill." And with that said and done, he pushed the pedal to the floor and was about to smash Kagome's player character into the eart... that is, Halo. "See ya, Kagome!" 

... 

"Inu-Yasha jumped the tank over the rock, but didn't notice the ledge of the mountain on the other side. "She... she knew!" He crashed down the mountain and his tank was flipped up-side down. When he got out of the tank, he never felt so foolish like he felt right then. "Hey! I know you're up there! You're out of weapons, and I'll be up there in a second, so you might as well give up!" 

The lavender Master chief was looking from atop the mountain, with a plasma grenade in hand. "Well, I _was_ saving this just for you." She tossed the grenade into the cavern. That was it. There was only one way out, but the tank was blocking it. "She... didn't. Did she?" The Grenade latched it's self onto a rather personal area and before he could even get a chance to get another shot off... 

'THE WINNER BY DEATH TO THE NETHER REGION IS KAGOME!!!" 

"How...?" Inu-Yasha was stunned as his hand slipped off his controller. "She got me... there." Kagome grabbed Inu-Yasha by the ear from under the hat and tugged him along. Outside the game store, Souta, Sango, Kagome, and Inu-Yasha sat down at the table where Kagome was just beginning to chew Inu-Yasha's ass off. "I thoght I told you to keep a low profile!" He shook his head. "Never, once, did you tell me that. All you said was get Miroku new cloths and that's it!" Both Sango and Souta looked all around, then at eachother. Both their eyes where wide with fear. "Hey, guys?" Souta said. 

"What!?!?" He had guts to step in on their bickering. Sango took over for him. "I just noticed... where is Miroku?" 

... 

To be Continued... 

* * *

Well, that's chapter 5 for you. If you expected any Miroku fan service, then I'm sorry I let you down. (I needed a break from it myself) Damn, I need to get some rest right about now. I will follow up on the next chapter after I finish one chapter for my Evangelion fic. Until then, I leave you with a quote of "wisdom." 

"Wanky! Wanky!"~*~*~ Chi from Chobits when she see's two guys looking at adult manga. (This is going to far, isn't it?) 


	6. The Game of Doom

Hi!!! Remember me? I know this is one weak chapter I'm posting up, but school is really, and I mean REALLY, setting me back. I thought I could go on a little bit longer, but I have so much homework going on for me, I have very little time on my hands anymore. Plus, I just got the .hack series on Japanese DVD and the new .hack//Outbreak for PS2. I will most likely be swamped until Thanksgiving, so sorry but this will be the last chapter 

The Game Of Doom...

Victoria's Secret, Hot Topic, The Limited, and Every Shoppe in the mall where all the women like to see. Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Sango, and Souta looked everywhere, high and low for there dear lecher. However, there was neither hide nor hair of him to be found. "Inu-Yasha, when I asked you to keep an eye on him, did you interpret that as letting him run off while you go off and play games?" 

"It wasn't my fault!" he pleaded. "You're dinky brother wanted to go and he wouldn't shut up until I took him. Then I decided to give that box with an X on it a try..." His eyes began to glaze over, as if something had taken over his mind, body, and soul. He turned around, and began walking back to Game Stop. "Must... defeat... the... flood." 

**SIT!!!**

"WHAaa-!" Kagome made sure he had snapped out of it. "I should have known. Those Gamer's made you one of them now, huh?" Well you can play after we find Miroku." Inu-Yasha dug his dirty face out of the ground. "Look, I've had enough of that from both you _and_ you're mom. I'm really getting-" 

"What!?!? You mean my mom can do that to?? AHAHAHAH!!! I wonder what would happen if we said it at the same time..." Kagome could only imagine the pain and suffering she could use to punish her little pet. "You wouldn't dare..." She gave him the evil eye. "Try me, Inu-Yasha. See if I care when you're the first being to penetrate the earth's crust." 

... 

"Fine. Let's just find our monk and get the hell out of here. This mall is cold, cramped, and full of idiots that only come to stare at cloths that look rediculooAAAHH-" 

**SIT!!!**

"I would appreciate it if you didn't bad mouth my weekend hobbies." Kagome stepped over his head and continued her search. Sango bent down to pry his face out of the concrete with her new Swiss army knife. "Hang on, I'll help you out." With a pop, his face was freed from the vacuum between his face and the ground. "Ow! damn it, that thing hurts. Where the hell did you get that thing, anyway?" She flipped it back and pocketed it in her new purse. "Oh, well I happen to pass by this knife shoppe and When I saw this with the fox emblem, I couldn't resist." Inu-Yasha stuffed the answer in the back of his head and started back on his way to find Miroku. 

"Oh, god. Please let this be short and help us find him before he causes something big..."   


As If to piss off Inu-Yasha's request, Fate seemed to have lured our favorite lecher to the arcade. He was so fascinated by all the blinking lights and bright pretty colors, that he didn't notice the tall, thin guy he just bumped into. "Hey, buddy! Why Don't you watch where the hell you're walking?" He shoved him down, slicking his long hair back." 

"Hey, Kentaro! Don't pick on him. I'm sure it was just an accident." A young woman came up to Miroku and offered him a hand. "I'm so sorry about my boyfriend. He can be such a jerk sometimes." Without her knowing, however, she was already the next victim to fall for his curse."Wow, I like you're eyes. and those earrings look sooo sexy on you. Would you like to come and have a drink with us?" This little scean didn't quite settle well with the brute. "Stay away from that looser, ya hear me, Misato?" With an enraged ego, he shoved her away from him and into a an arcade game. This was **completely** uncalled for and set Miroku's fuse alit. 

"Listen here, sir. You can go ahead and strike me all you want. However, I can not and will not sit ideally by and watch you lay you're filthy hands on a woman in such a way." Kentaro busted out laughing. 

"Ahahahaha! You think you're some hero? Some knight in shining armor? Tell you what? If you can beat me in a game of my choice, I'll back off and let you two do anything you like." Miroku knew nothing about these games and would definitely be at a disadvantage. "What's the catch," he asked. 

"Catch? Only if I win, you walk on this leash like the little bitch you already are." To defend her honor, Miroku nodded. "Fine. I accept the challenge. Now what is this game you wish to challenge me to?" He pointed to the very corner of the arcade to one of the dreaded and most feared games of all time... 

**Dance-Dance Revolution**

Miroku sighed and with a determined look, stepped up to the game, and onto the platform. "So... How exactly do you play this game?" 

Misato hanged her head down in disappointment. "I'm screwed." 

To be Continued... 

* * *

Well, untill the next time I 'm able to write a paragrapgh, I leave you with a quote of "wisdom." 

"Please, make me you're monkey boy."~*~* Largo from "Megatokyo" (P|-|34R |-|15 N3KKID SKIILZ) 


	7. And The Winner Is

Well, I'm sure you where all wondering what's been happening with me lately. School has really caught up with me and I recently finished a chapter on my other fan fic. So, without further adeu, here is Ch. of "The Worst Best Dream Come True. 

Feudal Danc Revolution!

The stage was set. The lights have all been dimmed, the crowd had placed their bets, and the two contestance where ready. A chant was coming from a small group in the front, and for some odd reason, the man with the wrapped arm and earings was getting more screams from the girls than at a boy-band concert. 

(Author's note: I truely despise boy-bands. Korn, Slipknot, and GodSmack FOR EVER!!!!) 

At any given second, Miroku was to do as he seen demonstrated by, as far as he knew, a master of DDR. All he needed to do was fallow his every move and try not to fall on his face like every other challenger he seen did. 

**One hour ago...**

_"What!?!?__ You mean to tell me that you don't know how to play the most challanging and most well known arcade game in the world?!?!" Miroku looked on at the corner as some other players where hopping around like a bunch of wounded ducks. It didn't even seem to be a game. _

Kentaro steped up to the stage and tossed in some tokens. He selected one of the medium songs and the music began. Miroku was completly focused on the moves. The game seamed simple enough after a while. "Well, I'm sure a nimro like you finaly get it after my flawless performance. Are you ready?" Miroku stepped up on the player two platform and was ready for anything. "I'll even let you pic the song." Kentaro offered him the first choice in song. And of course, with no knowledge of the difficulty, he picked one of the hardest beats in the entire game. 

The siren went off in the arcade, signaling the choice of an expert song. "Hey! Some pro's at DDR are going at it!" Everyone dropped their joysticks, guns, rifles, and pucks to see the showdown. "Hey, Kaname? have you seen that guy with all the earing before?" All the girls looked at Miroku with a rather glazed over look. "Wow, he's real dreamy... I wonder if he's available?" 

The first song had begun The two tried to keep up as fast as they could humanly could. Up, Down, right, up, down, right, left. From the corwd, Miroku was almost river dancing, which alot of the guys busted out laughing about. The ladies, however, was mezmerized by his perfect form. When ever Miroku would miss one, Kentaro would gain one. He knew that Kentaro was an expert at the game, but was also a very jelouse type if he ever saw one. He knew exactly how to press his buttons. 

He reached out and grabbed Misato on to the stage with him and continued to dance, only with her to draw Kentaro's attention away from the screen. "HEY! Just what the hell do you think you're doing with _my_ girl?!?!?" That was enough to drop his score directly even to Miroku's as the last beat of the song came to an end. Miroku pushed the last step while dipping Misato in his arms. 

Feeling something grip over her senses, she lost all control and did what any other girl would do when confronted with a man cursed with a love scent, and pressed her lips passionatly against his. Of course, Miroku was taken completly off gaurd, but he didn't mind any less in the long run. he closed his eyes and lost himself in the kiss. So much, so, that he completley ignored Kentaro's screaming and cursing. 

"YOU TWO-TIMING HUSSY!!!" He split them both apart and grabbed him by his new shirt collar. "Don't think it's over after one round. We Still have an entire music library to go through. This is an Iron-Man match! The First to collapse or the first to lose enough beats to get DQ'd is out!" 

And that how it was. For one hour streight, the two combatents danced like they wanted to win, and after completing every hard difficulty level, the most challenging song anyone has ever witnessed was about to begin. "Kentaro, I have to say you are indeed a worthy opponent. It's a shame you have to be such a poor sport about losing." Kentaro spat his gum away and into the hair of some afro guy wearing a pink and blue suit with a yellow neck tie. "Oh, you just keep talking and we'll see what's just how up-beat you really are!" Kentaro sacraficed a step and started to trip up Miroku, but he dodged off to the side. 

...but at the same time, stepped right off of the dance platform. 

"Too bad, dude. You where really a good challange, but it looks like I Wi-" 

The crowd looked on as the afro bad-ass mofo jumped kicked the cheating lil rat square in the jaw and into the wall. "Don'tcha EVA Mess with Nabashin's fro, you little punk byatch!!!" The score was tied, but the song was just finishing and both their scores where falling fast. With every ounce of energy he could muster, Miroku lept like a freak and began to break it down, spining and busting out everymove he could make and with the final note, he jumped one more time and punched the last move with his fist, ending his last perfect combo. The Crowd went wild and lifted Miroku into the air. The men where chearing him on and the women where holding him up, each one getting their pinches in while they where at it. 

"Miroku! Can I have you're auto graph?" He was fianly set down, but only to be surrounded by more woman than he ever saw in one place. "Miroku, you are my idol! Please, show me how you dance like that!" He was flattered, but he already made planns with another. "Sorry, I have to go. Maybe I'll see you girls some other time." he walked over to Misato and offeres her his hand. "Shall we head out, then?" She nodds as she takes his hand, completley unaware of their human carpet named Kentaro they and so many others are trampling over.   


"Well, any sign of him," Inu-Yasha asked. "Nope. Nothing on the third floor," answered Kagome. "Damn it. What about you, Sago?" She shook her head. "Nothing. I hope he alright." Her voice was rather weak out of concern for him. "Hey, sis." Souta tugged at her sleeve. "What is it? We're kind of busy, if you can't tell." 

"I know. But do you think that huge crowd of girls down stares have anything to do with him?" 

To Be Continued... 

* * *

Well. I'm officialy on Christams Break. I'll try to have a new chapter up next month. Untill then, happy holidays and God bless. And of course, you're little helping of 'wisdom.' 

"Hey, Ha-chan? Where the Fuck are we???"~*~*~ Excel Excel From "Excel Saga." Episode 6 


End file.
